English
Adjective
messianic (not comparable)
Positive messianic
Comparative not comparable
Superlative none (absolute)
Of, relating to, or resembling a messiah
The new world we live in demands we believe in something, anything. It’s not that I believe in nothing, it’s that I don’t believe in your prescription. One hegemony begets another.
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
- W.B. Yeats, “The Second Coming”
Here I sit on a warm August Tuesday in Los Angeles, wondering what above all else comes next. I want the space to create, and I have it. As for so many folks everywhere, though, making enough money to stay afloat is the primal urge.
Juxtaposition.
Take a 300 and some odd feet square efficiency apartment, a mini-kitchen and a walk-in closet that leads to a smallish bathroom and what do you have? You have a limited play space to make an editorial statement. Noted, it might seem difficult to convey anything when you’re wearing a hood with an enclosed blindfold and attachable penis gag making it impossible to speak.
Still, if you ask the model, she would prefer not to be released from her “disgrace.” “Disgrace” is in quotes, because words have meaning, often multiple meanings for me. “Disgrace” in this case doesn’t carry its usual negative connotation. In our world, to be in control is the epitome of success. A lack of control is unsavory. Flip it. Understanding that one has little to no control is the key to understanding one’s self. I am reminded of this from a play session I participated in at Bondage Ball in Hollywood July 4. Being restrained with a hood on my head while being flogged by a beautiful woman is Boyd at his happiest. Well, insomuch as when I want to suspend the pretense of control. I’m quite sure I could tick off a list of motivations for this and still come up lacking. For instance, each and every one of us wants to feel desirable. We all need to be loved in a way that validates us. We all need to be heard, and sometimes we wish we all could be silenced because of personal shortcomings. We all need to feel. Pain is so relative, and when we can experience it without becoming unhinged, we rejoice.
When I first started as a photographer, a world-renowned fetish photographer explained how I should treat each modeling session as a scene. In the process of explaining this to a model I shot with recently, she was actually concerned. My point to her was not that I desired to create an actual scene, but that power exchange play that isn’t editorial in nature or that doesn’t seek to capture the real finds itself lacking. These Indoor Games played out wherever I may be will always endeavor to achieve this.
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